Ambivalence and the Unrecognized Self
by Delyse Ledgard
This article examines how ambivalence is connected to the failure of early relationships to recognize and support aspects of ourselves as we develop. I am often struck with how much clients struggle with difficulties around aspects of themselves that they feel so ashamed of and can not contemplate expressing; yet are unable to feel resolved around not expressing. The result is an ambivalent struggle between these two sides. Within the uncertainty of an ambivalent struggle aspects of our self are wanting to emerge. I call this the Unrecognized Self. To varying degrees we are all pressured to alter our self to belong or survive and those aspects that are banished and left in the shadows remain unrecognized. They have been split off from our consciousness and contain the unfulfilled and broken aspects of who we are or want to be.
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