What to expect from the counselling process

Making changes comes with a willingness and determination to enter into and be with a process that may cause you to feel vulnerable.  Our job is to be with you, attend to you, and create a safe space to explore your thoughts, emotions and behaviour.  Consider the following as you think about how to get the most out of therapy:

• You have a desire for a better life, and despite not experiencing it right now, hold a vision of yourself as empowered that motivates you to make the time and investment in therapy.
• You understand that long term change is from the inside out.  There may be circumstances in your life that need to change but ultimately you know that change requires an inward focus and a willingness to be open about your experience.
• You know that it takes effort on your part. You are willing to be prepared for your sessions, to take small risks to experiment and break habits, to stay with, slow down and move towards what may be uncomfortable.
• You understand that it is difficult for us all to make changes by ourselves – even though you find it difficult to admit that.  Becoming self-aware requires us to see what is not obvious, to allow the emergence of unconscious material, and consider the perspective of others.
• You are prepared to commit to regular sessions. Depending on your goals for therapy, sessions typically start as weekly sessions and for some twice weekly to work through defenses and life long patterns that have kept you stuck.  Sessions often move to biweekly over time.  The frequency of therapy is different for everyone but without an understanding that it is an ongoing process you may not make the gains you wish.  

No-one else can tell you when you are ready for this. Often it comes at a time of crisis, a turning point in your life or a sense that there must be something more to life.  When you are ready give us a call to set up an appointment.

 Article – To understand how therapy is transformative.

Important aspects of therapy:

Relationship

Through the relationship with a therapist you will discover aspects of yourself that have been denied or lost. The relationship with your therapist allows you to become conscious of your experience through the reflection and attention that is given to you. In order to cope, you may have developed ways of dealing with emotional pain that have separated you from your experience. Typically people report a mixture of feelings at the beginning of therapy. There is relief in feeling supported and safe in expressing oneself, yet discomfort with the growing awareness of experiences you have defended against.

Inward focus

Over time you will feel more comfortable with your feelings, thoughts and sensations. We  become more self aware by focusing inward and sharing that with sensitive others. As therapy proceeds you will relax into your experience further. Emotional and mental health can be seen as the ability to integrate what we experience in the world around us with our internal reality.

Self-awareness

Through therapy the illusions we may have constructed to deal with pain and disappointment begin to fall away. This happens slowly so that we can absorb new information about ourselves. Therapy is full of these transformative moments. Integral to this is what happens between you and your therapist. How we experience each other is important therapeutic material: it is used to bring your defenses and experience into awareness.  A skilled therapist will be able to gauge the rhythm and pace of the client’s needs.
 
Therapy is self-examination of internal processes that prevent you from living the way you wish.

We naturally want to avoid painful feelings, but the avoidance often creates more  suffering. An important task of therapy is to tolerate all of our feelings, positive and negative.

So you can begin to have a different relationship with yourself.

Encouragement

Only you can change things in your life. Therapy provides a place to rehearse and prepare for the changes you want to make. As you practice relating differently in the safety of the counselling relationship you will gain confidence in translating that practice to your communications with other people in your life.

How long should counselling take?

In our society taking time goes against the general ethos. We want things fixed easily and at 'high speed'. This puts pressure on all of us to come up with a quick fix for the difficulty at hand. There is nothing wrong with solutions but becoming more deeply conscious may not seem like a solution in a quick fix world. People come for counselling in the beginning for a more intense period and that will depend on what you are wanting to deal with and the time and finances you are prepared to commit to.  Then typically you may come and go as things come up in your life.  You and your counsellor will discuss your needs in counselling, ultimately the decision about how long you will have regular appointments is up to you.